How do you stop chasing after your ex, and make them chase after you? Essentially, you need a plan of action. How you approach them back is as important as when you approach them.

You pick the time and place for when you make first contact with your ex. Something that you need to keep in mind, is that you should not come crawling back or cowering back to your ex. Ever.

Basically, you need to position yourself as not needing them back in your life at all. Your life needs to get to a position where the presence of your ex is not needed for your life to function. Have your own life, your own friends, your own activities.

Preferably have a schedule that does not require the presence of your ex in it. When you make contact, drop subtle hints about this fact. What that will do is make them feel not wanted and not needed.

Guess what, people want to be needed. People love to feel like they are important to someone and they are needed in someone’s life. Suddenly, your ex may have the urge to be more involved with you. They may want to see the wonderful life that you have created for yourself without them in it. Now, they’re interested in you, and they will want to be involved with you.

They, will want you back.

Now, what do you say when you call them back for the first time to get them to call you back?

First, let me tell you what not to say. Don’t say anything bitter. Don’t allude or reference your breakup, no matter who’s fault it is. Don’t bring up any bad memories or say something like “hey, since I washed your car that one time, you should call me back.”

Don’t say anything that will make them happy that they are no longer with you.

Here’s a secret for you.

What you say, is something that will make them want to call you back. It’s virtually irresistible. You will use their own curiosity and self interest and peak their curiosity so much that they can’t help but call you back.

What do you say in that call?

You say something like this: “Hey Rob, this is Michelle, I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate what you did for me. Call me back so I can thank you in person.” Or something along these lines.

That’s it.

Keep your phone message brief, and simple. Your objective, is to get them to call you back.

So now you have an idea about what to do, but what are the steps to help get you there? Rafael has teamed up with TW Jackson to offer you T Dub’s book called “The Magic of Making Up.” You can download the book at http://www.relationshipequation.com/